Grieving the Spirit

I found this post that I had started many months ago, and never finished.  I felt compelled to post it, so here it is.

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Our Wednesday night Campaigner group has been going through the book Forgotten God by Francis Chan. If you have not read it yet, you should. I'm not kidding; you should read it as soon as you are done reading this post (or maybe even before). A few weeks ago, we discussed the fact that we can grieve the Holy Spirit. We, as humans, can cause pain to God. Francis Chan states that "the Spirit is grieved when there is a breach in relationship, whether it be relationship with God or relationship with other people. When we are dis-unified, unloving, hateful, jealous, gossipy, etc., that is when we grieve the Spirit of God. And since He is the creator of emotions, I believe that the Spirit grieves more deeply than we can ever understand." (Ephesians 4:28-30)

This particular subject was something I had not really given much thought to, and I began to pray that God would teach me what it means to grieve the Holy Spirit; I prayed that I would know and understand the grief that the Spirit feels. As Christians, who have the Holy Spirit dwelling within us, when we are closely in-tune with the Spirit, we can begin to understand the grief that the Spirit feels. The Spirit reveals more and more to us, as we grow closer and closer to the Spirit. 1 Corinthians 2 tells us that we can know the mind of Christ. WE CAN KNOW THE MIND OF CHRIST! As it turns out, God loves to answer prayers. And as it also turns out, the process of coming to know what the Spirit feels when the Spirit feels grief is very painful; and even more so, the grief that the Spirit feels, is very painful.

God never really answers prayers in the way I expect Him to (go figure). Many of you know that I recently started working as a Para Educator at the High School. I had been subbing there for several months, and a week ago was put onto permanent staff. Throughout my time at the school subbing, and volunteering for the last year, I had developed great relationships with a lot of very hurting kids. This last week, I experienced one of the most heartbreaking moments yet at the school. A student who I had been working with for hours, every day, came into my room to have me sign his withdrawal form.  Students have to have their withdrawal form signed by the librarian before the school will accept their form.  This student, a senior, was dropping out with only 8 weeks of school left. I won't go into the details of this student's life, but I can assure you, it is maxed out with abandonment, disappointment, and has very little to no hope. When I signed his form, he walked around the desk, gave me a hug, and turned to walk out the door. The anguish I felt as he left my room was not something I was used to feeling. It wasn't just that I was bummed that he dropped out of high school - I felt as though the weight of the world that he must have been feeling was suddenly on my shoulders. I was grieving for him; I knew that as he walked out of the room, he had no hope. He did not have the hope of Jesus Christ in His life. I can only imagine how much greater the Spirit grieves for those who are not in relationship with Him.

As the week continued, I could not understand why I had such a heavy heart; the more time I spent around kids, the heavier my heart became. Finally, I realized what was going on. God was giving me a tiny glimpse of how grieved He is when the children He loves are not in relationship with Him. As it turns out, you should be careful what you pray for - sometimes the answers to our prayers are very painful. I'm sure what I was experiencing was just the smallest glimpse of what Christ feels when His children are not in relationship with Him.
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I wasn't sure how to end this post.  But rereading what I experienced several months ago has once again reminded me of how urgent and important it is that we share the love of Christ with all that we come into contact to, regardless of timing, convenience, timidness, energy level, or agenda.  We don't need to preach to them; we need to be with them where they are, and be what might be the only demonstration of Christ's love that they might ever see.